Wow! I can’t believe I wrote that…2 kids. I have to say, in some ways it’s really not been that much of a shift but in others it has been quite the shift. My biggest fear going into this was how Noah would react and how my relationship with him would change. The verdict is still out… He’s at that point in his development where routine and predictability is sooo important and throwing a baby sister in there surely would rock the boat. We’ve been walking a fine line between happiness and hell with him.
Lia is amazing and so easy which is probably why I feel like things are well under control most of the time. She sleeps, eats, and just hangs out (i’m even getting 4-5 hours of uninterrupted sleep with her at night). The only time she really cries is when she’s cold or when she’s hungry and even then it’s just a quick squawk to let me know she’s pissed and she’s done. I’m kind of waiting for the other foot to fall and to wake up one day and she’s a monster who cries all the time and refuses to sleep. I hope that never happens but I am holding my breath a bit.
Her ease makes it more manageable to deal with Noah’s swings. When he’s happy he’s super happy and hilarious (and that’s a good percentage of the time during the day). However, when he’s upset or the “no” monster attacks he’s pretty terrible. “No”ing everything, hitting, and just generally behaving badly. He laughs at us when we put him in time out and just gets up and walks away. There are very things we can negotiate with that actually affect him. And the most frustrating part is that the bad moods are sparked by seemingly pointless events and overcome him in seconds. He’ll go from laughing hysterically to throwing his toys or hitting us in seconds. Stormy is a good way to explain his personality.
Thankfully he’s pretty good with Lia. He’s sweet to her and generally careful around her (he forgets from time to time and rolls around like he’s the only one there and almost squashes her). He loves to give her kisses and will share his toys if we ask him to (and sometimes unprompted). He asks where she is when he can’t see her (although he refers to her as “it” or “him” some times). So, with regard to her I think we’re doing well.
With regard to sharing me, again that’s something we’re working on. There’s been more than one occasion where I ended up with both he and Lia in my lap at one time. He often tells me to put her down or put her to bed so that I can hold him. He’s also just more into me holding him than he ever was before. He’s not overly demanding but on occasion I can see that he’s hurt or sad that I can’t respond to his needs right that second. DH has really tried to step in where at all possible to take the load off but sometimes all he wants is mommy (just like some times all he wants is daddy).
Overall I expected an adjustment period and so far this is no worse than I expected and alot of it has to do with how easy Lia is. We’re including Noah in as much Lia stuff as possible (fetching diapers, helping with the trash, etc…) plus I’ve been trying to have one on one time with him where he has my undivided attention. It’s not as much as I’d like (Lia eats almost every 2 hours on the dot during the day time) but an hour here and an hour there gives me time to connect with him again. Once Lia stretches out her feedings some I need to plan some outside activities (outside of goign to the store – which he strangely loves to do right now). Perhaps some time at the local zoo or the park. We’ll see. For now I’m chained at the boob to the wee one (which is an entirely separate post:) ).
So, forgive the ramble and disjointedness of this. It took me 3 days to write this because I only get a few sentences in at a time:) Since this blog serves as much as documentation place as a place to share with others, I wanted to get these points down:)