May 102010

The day I’ve been dreading since I first found out we were expecting has finally arrived – the first day at daycare.  Dropping Noah off was torture…I made it to the car before the tears started and managed to gather myself enough to drive home.  However, walking into my office where his swing and bouncy seat were staring me in the face finished me off and I ended up curled up on the bed crying.  Macie (our Viszla) was soo upset that I was upset and didn’t know what to do with me. I wanted to cuddle with her and all she wanted to do was lick my face and ears. I guess that’s her way of saying, “It’s okay mom.  It will all be okay.”  Have I mentioned how much I love my dog??

I managed to make it thru the day with only a few more teary episodes (an hour of boxing did wonders as it had my endorphins pumping for most of the afternoon) and was ready and waiting by the front door when DH pulled up with little Noey in tow!  He seemed none worse for the wear and his daily report was wonderful.  He napped when he should have napped and ate like a champ at just the right times (guess we were on more of a schedule than I thought).  He did seem exhausted – guess there’s lots going on at daycare.  So, we wrapped up his day with a quick walk, a nice bath, a bottle and some cuddle time (I just couldn’t bear to put him in his crib even though he was fast asleep on my chest).  I finally put him down around 8:30 and he was out until 1am.

People say you don’t know love until you have a child and all childless people think, “um ya…okay…that’s crazy” (i know i did) but boy was I wrong.  I know I love my husband with all my heart and I don’t want to diminish because without him I’d not be me.  But my love for Noah exceeds anything I ever thought was possible.  It’s a different kind of love than what I feel for my husband.  Noah is my heart! Part of me out in the world and quite vulnerable.  This quote said it best:

Making the decision to have a child is momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.  ~Elizabeth Stone

So, here’s to day 1 of daycare having come and gone and we’re all still sane and happy and hoping that day 2 goes better!

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